So yesterday morning Jason left to have dinner with his friend Patrick from Nashvegas. I couldn’t sleep any longer so I got up and went to the shop. While I was there reading the comics, the Lady Who Never Opens Her Store so ancient people from out of town come in at least once a week to say, “Is she ever open? Do you have a phone book?” came up to me and told me about how she was making a present for her husband, and would I be able to help her by doing the finishing touches.
The first thing she asked was if I painted with oils. Thirty seconds later I found out that question has nothing to do with anything else she is going to say but that’s okay because she likes my paintings and thinks I should be rolling in the money because I’m so talented. Her words. I’ll accept them. Anywho, the project she is working on is a paint-by-number lighthouse. She wants me to “make it fade back a little.” Everytime she says this she waves her hands side to side. I nod as she explains what she means for a couple of minutes because my brain trying to process if that is really what is being said and how I should respond. I’ve been in unusual “I would like to commission you to-” situations before and usually respond with, “Wow, that sounds interesting but that’s not my specialty.”
Back to the hand waving, “Do you think you could do that? Make it fade some?” After weighing the options frantically back in forth in my head, and the main repeating thought being, “O Father in Heaven. I can’t believe someone wants me to do a paint-by-number.” I find myself saying yes. Yes. I can.
ARRRGGGGGHH. I am officially a starving artist but she is a very nice person. Patrick pointed out that even Faulkner had to go to Hollywood to write screenplays because he needed the additional income, but I’m no Faulkner and Hollywood screenplays are a ways above paint-by-number, and I’m sure he was much better compensated. To comfort myself I went out and bought Sarah Vowell’s newest offering and made myself the best breakfast ever.
