This is for Megan who is wonderfully relentless, and has written more on my blog than me. I have to admit I’ve been a complete waste of a human since November. I’ve noticed that for the past three or four years every part of my being shuts down and becomes utterly useless from November untill March except for my ability to consume large quantities of hot chocolate and books in bed. My mother tells me I’m depressed. I think it’s utter bliss hibernating like that.

Today I ran around my house looking for any piece of art that I’ve done in the past couple of years to contribute to the Artemesia group show at “that other place down the street” which is the place where one of my customers tells me every day that he didn’t go to get his coffee. “You know. That other place!” Anyway, to my surprise, I don’t have anything left. At all. I guess that’s good in one way cause that means I actually made some money in my chosen profession (or slashed and burned paintings in a fit of rage over my mediocrity) but on the other hand I really need to produce more. I need all of the portraits I’ve done for the show I’m having in the now officially named Hallway Gallery. I felt like a total loser and utterly ashamed at having to tell Sally that I couldn’t come up with anything. There is much weeping and the gnashing of the teeth at my inadequate production. Nothing to motivate you like feeling like a goober, but first I have to get out of this momentary I hate myself and refuse to get off the couch except to grab some cookies and move to the bed so I can read a Harry Potter book that I’ve already read three times before funk that’s going on today. Tomorrow is gonna be beautiful and happy.

“It is not irritating to be where one is. It is only irritating to think one would like to be somewhere else. Here we are now.” - John Cage’s “Silence”